Caden at 2 months

My nephew is so adorable I want a kid!!!!!!!!! JK not for a while but seriously how could you not love this face!

my thoughts written down

I am getting so excited that school is almost over. I am way to excited about the fact that I'm done with my lower division GE classes after this semester. Although a bummer that I still have I think about 9 upper division GE's, it shouldn't be that bad. It's weird because I feel so young and so far along, however I LOVE IT. Though I have regretted alot of decesions in my past, I am thankful for them because they got me to where I am today. I feel proud and accomplished, something that has been hard for me to feel on my own my whole life. From when I have 8 scorring the most goals in a soccer game and the refferee telling me I needed to sit out to give others a chance, to getting into a University, I never felt good enough or accomplished on my own. I was always sad that I didn't have the tyoe of parents handing me money for good grades, because I tried so very hard. It is nice to get reccognition, but I don't even like it. I guess I like people to be jelous of me. What a horrible thing to say, but I think I have wanted soemthing I never had my whole life, and for once I feel like Im on my wayto having everything, and have as much as I want for now. I have many more things to work on, but for now I am happy.

Since Yesterday was Mother's Day, I hope everyone got to love and cherish their Mothers. I thankfully enough got to celebrate with 3 mothers: mine, my boyfriends mom and my sister. My sister is anew Mom of almost 2 months and I think she enjoyed being celebrated. Mothers are so important and I think it is important for them to know how you truly feel about them. I feel I am finally at that age where I am becoming independent and aren't such a "pain in the ass". My parents, especially my Mom have been through a lot with me and I know I mean the world to her and she would do anything for me, even to just make me smile. Family is forever and I'm thankful to have a wonderful one.




There is a website I enjoy, and people get a chance to anonymously share their deepest secrets. The website posts these secrets every Sunday, so yesterday, they titled them "Mother's Day Secrets". I found this one to the right very touching and extremely sad. It really made me appreciate everything I have, and I hope it hits the hearts of everyone who sees it.

Busy Bee

I hate feeling defeated. I hate feelign like no matter what I do it's never going to be good enough. I am proud of myself and I know others are, but I feel like I'm always going to want more. Yes, that is part of life, but it is so frusterating. I think it's just that time of year. The time when schools almost out and teachers are cramming. I'm actually not happy that I am going to be free from school for 3 months. As far back as I can remember I have been taking summer classes to get ahead or caught up. I think they paid off since I have always had a pretty light load and am now transfering yet again to a University. It's going to feel wierd not taking a class. It's hard for me to cope with, because I feel so behind in upper division work and I need to take a class at CSUN, but I can't until Fall. So there is pretty much nothing else I can do except wait and then be overwhelmed. Having a job and going to college can be alot to handle. I feel like I am so busy with everything, I barely have time for my family and boyfriend. I never have time to myself, and I am starting to get used to it. I have always been a dependent person, but I at that age where I need to fend for myself and fight the odds.

TWLOHA, the story

The Silent Word

Depression is often something overlooked and not taken seriously. 121 million people worldwide suffer from depression. That’s a huge portion of society that is in an unhealthy mental state and is battling the long fight to regain happiness. About 2/3 of the people with depression don’t seek treatment. Treatment and awareness is sometimes hard to find, but when untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers, I think it should be talked about and open to the public as a worldwide issue and struggle. These facts came from a website, twloha.com, and is an incredible website.


“To Write Love On Her Arms” is a non-profit movement, which seeks to provide hope, support, help, love, awareness, and much more to people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. The website is updated often and has some very touching and eye-opening blogs. I believe it is often hard for people to understand their own feeling and this website helps provide people with support and let them know they are not alone. It is so relevant to anyone who has lost someone, themselves struggling, or just want to help those with depression.


Depression is becoming a worldwide issue. People are struggling everywhere, especially in this economy, for their lives. Suicide to those depressed often seems like the easy way out, but in reality it is giving up, and hurting those around them. Most people are unaware of this, but there is even a National Suicide Day. This day should be valued way higher then it is. More awareness needs to sweep our country, state, city, and schools. Depression is such a hard uphill battle, but I believe others can help people get through it. It is heart wrenching to read people’s struggles with mental health issues. What is even more scary is how unaware and quite people are with this horrific issue. Action needs to sweep our economy, people need to be more aware, and more need to lend a helping hand to the millions struggling. I think it would be best to start in the schools, where most teenagers attend, because they are committing suicide for reasons most never know. Depression is preventable and treatable. Something treatable should not be taking so many young lives from their loved ones. Help can be found in this society of fame and money; and it is up to the general public to move toward it and become active in the community.

attack of the lady bugs

It was the weirdest thing. Me and my boyfriend took a little vacation to Huntington Beach and after the longest bike ride of my life(we decided to take cruisers all the way from our condo to the pier and it was like 5 miles against the wind) I couldn't wait to lay down on the sand. It was a beautiful day, about 80 degrees and the beach was packed. So we lay down and start putting sun screen on and all the sudden I am feeling a few bugs on me. I hate bugs more then anything, but it was a relief that i looked down and it was only a lady bug. Well one lady bug turned into 100 in a matter of seconds. We look around us and we are, as well as tons of other people around us are surrounded by thousands of lady bugs. We are swatting them left and right and I stood up freaking out and trying to run from them yelling at my boyfriend to get them away. I have never been so terrified of lady bugs in my life. They wouldn't leave and when they land on you, they stick. It was awful I almost had a panic attack, we had to migrate about a mile away to get away from them. I have never heard about anything like that it it was definitely an experience Ill never forget. I have probably seen about 10 lady bugs my whole life, and that day I saw thousands and never want to see another one again!