Busy Bee

I hate feeling defeated. I hate feelign like no matter what I do it's never going to be good enough. I am proud of myself and I know others are, but I feel like I'm always going to want more. Yes, that is part of life, but it is so frusterating. I think it's just that time of year. The time when schools almost out and teachers are cramming. I'm actually not happy that I am going to be free from school for 3 months. As far back as I can remember I have been taking summer classes to get ahead or caught up. I think they paid off since I have always had a pretty light load and am now transfering yet again to a University. It's going to feel wierd not taking a class. It's hard for me to cope with, because I feel so behind in upper division work and I need to take a class at CSUN, but I can't until Fall. So there is pretty much nothing else I can do except wait and then be overwhelmed. Having a job and going to college can be alot to handle. I feel like I am so busy with everything, I barely have time for my family and boyfriend. I never have time to myself, and I am starting to get used to it. I have always been a dependent person, but I at that age where I need to fend for myself and fight the odds.