Caden at 2 months

My nephew is so adorable I want a kid!!!!!!!!! JK not for a while but seriously how could you not love this face!

my thoughts written down

I am getting so excited that school is almost over. I am way to excited about the fact that I'm done with my lower division GE classes after this semester. Although a bummer that I still have I think about 9 upper division GE's, it shouldn't be that bad. It's weird because I feel so young and so far along, however I LOVE IT. Though I have regretted alot of decesions in my past, I am thankful for them because they got me to where I am today. I feel proud and accomplished, something that has been hard for me to feel on my own my whole life. From when I have 8 scorring the most goals in a soccer game and the refferee telling me I needed to sit out to give others a chance, to getting into a University, I never felt good enough or accomplished on my own. I was always sad that I didn't have the tyoe of parents handing me money for good grades, because I tried so very hard. It is nice to get reccognition, but I don't even like it. I guess I like people to be jelous of me. What a horrible thing to say, but I think I have wanted soemthing I never had my whole life, and for once I feel like Im on my wayto having everything, and have as much as I want for now. I have many more things to work on, but for now I am happy.

Since Yesterday was Mother's Day, I hope everyone got to love and cherish their Mothers. I thankfully enough got to celebrate with 3 mothers: mine, my boyfriends mom and my sister. My sister is anew Mom of almost 2 months and I think she enjoyed being celebrated. Mothers are so important and I think it is important for them to know how you truly feel about them. I feel I am finally at that age where I am becoming independent and aren't such a "pain in the ass". My parents, especially my Mom have been through a lot with me and I know I mean the world to her and she would do anything for me, even to just make me smile. Family is forever and I'm thankful to have a wonderful one.




There is a website I enjoy, and people get a chance to anonymously share their deepest secrets. The website posts these secrets every Sunday, so yesterday, they titled them "Mother's Day Secrets". I found this one to the right very touching and extremely sad. It really made me appreciate everything I have, and I hope it hits the hearts of everyone who sees it.

Busy Bee

I hate feeling defeated. I hate feelign like no matter what I do it's never going to be good enough. I am proud of myself and I know others are, but I feel like I'm always going to want more. Yes, that is part of life, but it is so frusterating. I think it's just that time of year. The time when schools almost out and teachers are cramming. I'm actually not happy that I am going to be free from school for 3 months. As far back as I can remember I have been taking summer classes to get ahead or caught up. I think they paid off since I have always had a pretty light load and am now transfering yet again to a University. It's going to feel wierd not taking a class. It's hard for me to cope with, because I feel so behind in upper division work and I need to take a class at CSUN, but I can't until Fall. So there is pretty much nothing else I can do except wait and then be overwhelmed. Having a job and going to college can be alot to handle. I feel like I am so busy with everything, I barely have time for my family and boyfriend. I never have time to myself, and I am starting to get used to it. I have always been a dependent person, but I at that age where I need to fend for myself and fight the odds.